Operator: 9-1-1 what is your emergency?
Frazzled Mom: I'd like to report that my son has been stolen...
Operator: Stolen? Are you saying someone took your child?
Frazzled Mom: Yes ma'am, that's what I'm saying, someone stole my son Artem.
Operator: Can you describe the child?
Frazzled Mom: He's two years old next week, 33 inches tall, 30+ pounds, brown hair, hazel/green eyes, adorable fat cheeks and dimples on his elbows. He smiles non-stop, charms the pants off of everyone around him, and answers to Artem, Doodlebug, Doodle-licious...
Operator: (Squad car #7715 we have a 3-11 in progress, please respond immediately) Ma'am, we are going to get someone out to your house right away, I've already dispatched the police.
Frazzled Mom: Will their car have a baby seat inside of it?
Operator: Excuse me? Did you want to know if there was a baby seat in the patrol car?
Frazzled Mom: Yes, ma'am. I need to make sure there is a baby seat in the patrol car so they can take this child that is in my house from me and make sure he gets to his rightful parents.
Operator: Ma'am, I'm confused...
Frazzled Mom: Yes, me too, whoever broke into our house and stole our sweet natured, adorable chunky butt of a little boy, left behind a screaming, hitting, "NO" yelling, tantrum-throwing little monster in his place and I need him out of here...
Operator: (cancel car #7715, you can return to your post) Uh ma'am, no one stole your child, the monster in front of you IS your child, he's just turning two and is going at it with guns a blazing!!
Frazzled Mom: Well in that case can you still send the patrol car out for me? I think I'm going to need to take a drive for awhile!
12 comments:
Lol Susan you have me laughing in my seat(After I realized he wasn't really taken ~shame on you~ lol ) I feel that way much of the time these days and Alexander is only 8 months. He is next to me shredding something he stole from my desk at the moment. I am in big trouble!! Sending you many thoughts during this challenging stage in Artem's life.
Sorry Susan... Its probably a big shock to have this change all of a sudden. I admire your sense of humor here though- When my son gets this way, I have a hard time keeping my smile! Hang in there!
Sorry Susan... Its probably a big shock to have this change all of a sudden. I admire your sense of humor here though- When my son gets this way, I have a hard time keeping my smile! Hang in there!
OMG, I thought he had been kidnapped!!! LOL! Good luck with those terrible two's!
I first was a little worried that he was hiding or you couldn't find him. Whew....hilarious story. Great stuff.
That is too funny. WE all love our two year olds. Hang in there it will get better.
love, LEnka
Come to think of it I never thought of calling 911. Good thinking.
Oh Susan, I am right there with you. Phillip is starting this at 22 months, today was the whining - all morning long. I am there for you!
Carol
That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! Welcome to the 2s! They were great for Lydia, but miserable with Cade, and his lasted until, oh...about three weeks ago, and he's four now! LOL!
That's hilarious. I was hoping that's where you were going with the story...when I wasn't sidetrack by the though...do you call 9-1-1 in Abu Dhabi?:)
We are starting to get a little more of that but not the full fledged temper tantrums yet. My day is coming soon I suspect.
Tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! My former little cutie pie turns 2 1/2 next week. . .he's been in monstor mode since about June or so. . .I think! LOL
Oh my! Too funny!! Ahhhh yes the terrific twos. :)
How crazy is it that I look forward to this?!? So glad you are "back"
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